Three odd months as mom ;) and I should tell you I loved every bit of the highs and lows of it. It's amazing that my little caterpillar is growing to be a hundred-days!
My little one was borne out of an emergency-c looks like she couldn't wait to see me! As I, pretty much, was. Through my 40th week I was paranoid, every three hours when there was no foetal movement, I panicked to the ends of earth. I remember going under the knife, longing for a girl child but praying one last time 'God, let it even be a male child, but let it be a healthy one' minutes later it was a girl - I slipped tears behind my overcovers and God,for once, was certainly great.
The perfectionist aka me was fidgeting with things, right from nursing to grooming her! The first day I remember being in pain throughout the night, I was declared OK next morning though feeling numb at my legs but I also felt OK by the second and delved into a Reader's Digest, that which I haven't still finished reading, whilst my little daughter slept almost swaddled.
Then came the nalla naal crap and I was allowed to go home only on my fourth day. I almost cried to my mom, I wanted to go home, I was fed up of the hospital atmosphere, a needle that was stuck forever on your arm, nurses around the clock with their medicines to suppositories, their taken for granted attitude - waking up a sleeping patient and asking have you slept well. Man!
Feb 8th, I was home.
Then came visitors forever and my daughter was a light sleeper - people were loud and clamouring, waking her up in turn keeping me awake. I wasn't allowed upstairs which was much quieter. Irregular meals, more irregular sleep, grooming her, keeping me presentable, it was all difficult inspite of mom pitching in. It was nightmarish.
Ten days into her birth realisation struck me 'omg, idukku mudive illayo?' that I'd signed this contract for a lifetime, there were no weekends for the mom job.
Twenty days old and she knew I was 'mom' she used to look from the corner of her eyes, pleading me to take her into my arms! Then the contract seemed so worth it! The twenty first day was her dad's birthday which we celebrated with her picture-album, some prized possession!
30 days done and I was moved upstairs. I realised what 'bliss' meant. We went out for the first time, a temple.
She was two movies old - Fast and furious and valliavan! She could recognise her dads voice as well. She would listen to me singing songs intently, the ones I used to play for her when she was warm in my womb. Everyday she learnt something new, a fan, a light, a squirrel squeaking from the guava tree which overlooked my room. She learnt to turn her shaky head away from her mama, avoiding his consistent kisses :D she loved looking at the street lights when taken in her stroller. Her sleep patterns changed, she cried bitterly still learning the hows to sleep - and the mother who was now an amateur at giving traditional baby-baths, started cooking, something that she loved!
The start of her third month was marked by her first book of Rhymes was presented by thatha paati hoping she would be a voracious reader, but she, was addictively glued to the TV *sigh* She's learnt to talk longer sentences. Learnt to cry in five different pitches indicating discomfort, sleepiness, hunger, carry-me and go-to-hell! She is downright demanding, making me wonder how a child who knows no language yet can be so communicative!
She is also a trip old - Pondy. Her mother now a 'pro' at mothering ;p gathered enough guts to leave her daughter away for 5 hrs - a bottle of ebm and her favorite aunty around, voila!
Nearing a 100 days come 12th, its more oil baths, more tummy time, shameless baby shopping, taming tantrums, long wee hours of baby talk, hundredth pointless parental article read and the first Mother's day as mom.
Am so proud!
I am not asking God for anything more, am grateful for this life and that love...