Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Indian function junctions

It's SAD that we HAVE to attend fat Indian weddings all the time to make them look fat - I really wish we throw all those long strenuous weddings, poojas related to funerals and everything one fine day. Just like that. Out of the window. And let people marry or die quietly.. in peace. Sorry for being blunt but the rites do take my life away - I have been in and out of multiple schools and colleges and I am in touch with my 1st grade to college kinda friends and it's too much of an askance when everyone gets touchy about the priorities of their function - be at my place for onam, my child's birthday - 40th, 5th, 7th, first/second/gay wedding or even I am gonna die please be there to take a selfie! Uffffff

It's okay. Invite me. But hey I do have other plans also remember? I may even have to wash truckloads of clothes this weekend of not practically chilling out! So don't get touchy if I say no I really can't take this invite...

I hate when I have to lie to your RSVP!

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Your knowledge on that new mum who works?

That she could smell of a little wee, lotion and lots of  greasy stuff. That you assume she is not available all the eight hours at work, but she is and her work is time away from her new born nursling. And most important that you'd know is she may not have given the bottle to her child yet. She may be nursing? She may be an expressing mom. So managers and recruiters there is a little equipment that you should know about - the breast pump. That which helps your employee work without compromising on her nutritive value as a mother. Why should you know about it? Else it gets plain annoying.

There are women who express who use that coffee break and lunch hour to step out to the nursing room with half a pound equipment and 8oz bottles. Your lack of knowledge could bring you to spew umpteen questions which may make a new mom shy away, why even from nursing? Well there are mums who take this -  'what's this equipment', 'where were you so long' questions so lightly and then there are not.

Sometimes I believe this should also be as a part of learning in "leaves section" or say what to expect when recruiting an employer back from her maternity somewhere in the books - so that managers ARE really equipped enough to understand these nuances much better. In my case - there used to be bag checks, I was working at two tandem locations, one location had all the security staff knowing what a breast pump is, made it so easy. So this lady will check my bag come across pump ask me "baby ka madam" for the baby? I say yeah they leave me. That's all. At another location I have to give this whole description about how a breast pump works, and no, it's not an equipment using which I can steal your code, no no it doesn't go into the baggage room I need my PISA with me. You know how annoying that gets?

Brings back memories :) and yeah this was a comment to a friend which was long enough to go to my blog, and it has gone blogpost now :)

Saturday, May 14, 2016

How CB made me blog at midnight!

*The Chetan inspired me to blog at midnight post*

I read this http://www.comedyflavors.com/chetan-bhagats-suggestion-for-women-to-reduce-stress-will-touch-your-soul/
and my fingers flurried quite quickly to finish a blog post! Thank you CB.

While CB can't write for 4 kaasu. (I mean I write better. Then why am I not an author? That's cuz I am friggin lazy) He has found a nice way to market him - his advice mazhai to women annoys me.

While it's deemed good, you do the math about the educated/uneducated, below/above poverty line types of women in India, tell me how many are skimming their Android mobiles right now?

All this is more toward the urban stepped up independent woman who happened to have her Monday blue even on Thursdays and Fridays. Somebody please hand me a knife, I wanna kill myself.

// the talk I want to have with him //

Him - Mil doesn’t like you? That’s her problem.

Me - If I have a husband who beats me back and blue as I've insulted his pyaari maa whose problem would it be?

Him - Two, if you are doing a good job at work and your boss doesn’t value you -tell him that, or quit. Talented, hard-working people are much in demand.

Me - seriously?

Him - Three, educate yourself, learn skills, network – figure out ways to be economically independent.

Me - I was economically independent, but in point 2 you told me to quit it when the going got tough. I, upon your word, quit my job and now I can't find another. The pauper-me has to piggyback someone to network now. Any idea how much a cold coffee and bus ticket costs these days?

Him - Four, It is okay if you don’t work until midnight and don’t get a promotion. Nobody remembers their job designation on their dying day.

Me - Wait, what if I knew how to manage my work within 8 hrs and get promoted? Is this a glib way of saying women have to be complacent with mediocrity? Seriously? Why only a woman is an employee and a mother? The man could be a father too you know? Please shove your advices to men too. It's not about who wears the pants - it's my bread as much as it was his. There are no cave women these days who were pulled around by their husbands by their hair.  There are women who are ambitious, who have dreams, don't belittle them or worse make them feel like jerks for embracing their career as much as their personal lives.

Him - Your neighbor may make a six-dabba tiffin for her husband, you don’t – big deal.

Me - To a large percentage of the population a meal a day seems like gourmandizing, there's hand-me-down clothes, ignorance of she-cups. IMO you've cut a tiny piece of the Great Indian cake and made an pointless stereotypical comparison.

PS - You should take my advice and plan for the next competitive exam, just so you know "Nobody remembers their qualifications or glorified schools on their dying day" either.