A beautiful free day is all I need now

We're sleeping and, a tiny arm creeps up my hand...

"You need to take a free day. You're working so hard". 

"Yennaikku Mother's day varum? Because on Mother's day moms can wish anything and that wish will come true ma.. "

🥰❤️

#nighttimethoughts

A letter to the anxious mind

Dear Anxious mind, 

No amount of fantasies will bring you unicorns. No amount of taking the Horse to the water will make him drink water. Your hands might bleed from the reins you have tugged, twisted and pulled at. Your feet might bleed from the rough terrain, crevases and sharp rocks that you've stumbled on. That doesn't change a thing. The Horse doesn't drink water unless it wishes to and the unicorns never come. 

You can romanticize the feeling as 'fantasy' but factually it's contortion of reality. Naivety and vulnerability which stiffles the real you - chops and trades a piece of yourself in return for false hopes. 

Fantasy. Well, what a fascinating melodic word. Fantasy is nothing but a dream that never comes true but sucks the time and energy out of your life whilst you are dreaming. 

Open your eyes. 

Ground your feet. 

Let it be. 

Let it go. 

'sgusting

R: Ugh, 'sgusting! 

Me: What's disgusting? 

R: that bird is eating worms! 

Me: Birds will eat worms, its only natural. Approm kolambu sorum chips um ah saapdum?! 

R: *rolling with laughter* Nee idpi edachum solluva nu theriyum, funny ah irukkum nu thaan disgusting sonnen. 

Me: 😩

Book: All things bright and beautiful

Tiny's riddles

Me watching "Maraindhirundhey paarkum marmam enna" on YT. 

Child: 

innoru paatu irukkumey, valikkudha valikkudha nu kepangaley. Adhu podu. 

Me: oh adhuva 

#nalamdhaana #Thillana_Mohanambal

the inanimate love

My tiny's library got a way too many books, and needs space, dusting, maintenance, what nots. I'm just waiting quietly to enroll her in my local library when she starts a bit of reading without assistance, when i can finally buy "only" the most curated keepers. 

I cannot handle mine too, I've lost count of the number of books i have given away to my local library or friends who wanted. Because there is an X amount of space and Y amount of energy that I can expend, and the TBR and buying spiralled out of control ever since we had salaries and flipkart accounts. Had to get the reins back in control, remember preloveds and spendfasts! 

Side note : I'm THANKFUL for Kindle and libraries. 

Back in my schooltime i had a lovely relationship with my librarian, during college-time when i visited my local librarian, that uncle would tell me here's a "Lee Child" take it you will like it. I have such fond memories of workplace having a tie up with British Council and me taking every opportunity to be in that vast beautiful modern space. 

Buying was happiness. Hoarding never was. Libraries were sheer joy, always. I'd hold the days i spent with books dearly. Browsing through the library, meeting friends at "Ispahani Towers - Cafe Coffee day" but going an hour early so that i can go to Landmark and eye some coffee table or Cake Baking books! 

Today - as I finish eating a nice hot plate of rasam rice and pepper chicken and eye "Anna Karenina" from the corner of my eye - in an empty house - because the child has gone out with the family to a relatives place, i already know my agenda. I'm not home alone anymore, I'm with Vronsky, Stepen, Levin, Kitty, Anna and travelled to Russia, all within three hours! BLISS! 

But inspite of the love for books. Not too many, i remind myself, every single day!! 

❤

Artsy speed-breaker

My father used to buy catchy pieces of street-art. Scupltures, pottery, wall paintings etc. Also our garden had quite a few flowering plants. When I recollect my quiet days while growing up, I clearly remember days when I would analyze a flowers petal arrangement or try to understand how beautiful the shades in a painting are, or arrange/rearrange flowers in a vase.

They were basically days when I slowed down and stopped to admire beauty.

To mimic a similar experience, I bought some pots, paintings today. I must say I'm feeling a bit peaceful. Every time i look at my desk, even on a Monday mornimg after a long weekend.

Talking three tables

Morning conversation:
R: dosa vaasam enna koooodpidhu, saapdu saapdu nu
Me: thats okay, read aloud 3 tables once. then we can have breakfast.
R: hmmmmmm, okay.
Takes the multiplication book.
Tells aloud:
"Once upon a time there was a three tables. One day he went to his grandma's. He took her some food in a basket. On the way, he met a woodcutter, 'who are you' he asked-
I'm three tables, he said:
3 ones are three
3 twos are six... "
me: 😆

#whenkidsrollthegamewithcreativity
#homeschoolinglife  #Ri_creation #redridinghoodtabletales

Ada yen pilla

Ri: Ma, i slept (acting like shes sleeping)
Me: umm
Ri: **tears welling in her eyes**
Me: why ma?
Ri: nee ada yen pilla thoongidichu nu sollavey illa 😪
Me: (aww my baby pooh bear)

What does the Little birdie say

Day 1 of Learning bird calls

Me: what does a crow say?
R: caw caw
Me: what does an owl say?
R: oot oo-oot
Me: what does a parrot say?
R: you say Hello, he says Hello.
Me: 😑

To breathe or not to breathe

In a quick overflow of words little Ri was describing something intensely but a way too fast for me to catch up with
Me: iru, porumaya, moochi vidama pesadha

quickly she comes beside sniffs out on to my arm and quips - paaru - moochu vittutu thaan iruken.

Travel in the time of Corona

Needless to say little is thoroughly bugged staying at home. She has plans of going to her grandma's town but gathered from the news that trains were not functional.

Mommy, mommy, will you buy me a pack of Balloons?
Me: but why, dont u have a few?
She: I need more. There are no trains running, so ive decided to blow a lot of balloons and travel by the strings.
Me to my mama: seems shes gonna travel by balloons
Mama: what if I shoot them with arrows when ur flying (like whaaat. Ugh)
She: ill be wearing bouncy shoes. So ill not fall down!

Mommy with the borrowed brain

Amma amma.
Me: yes
Amma, if they remove your brain and replace it with a copy of my brain then you'll do whatever tasks I do.
Me:laughs loudly
Now when you laugh, I will laugh too.
******
Um, now that sounds looks like chronic sync

Discussing POC with a child

Today we had a humbling experience - I was watching Roots on my mobile, child came asking what's that, and whys. I stopped the video, wondered how to articulate for a bit, then spoke about slavery, apartheid in a way my child would understand, about Harijans, freedom fighters; a conversation that went for 20 minutes. A long conversation for the twiddly inquisitive little mouse.

We also saw "I have a dream" video. She's young to grasp the intensity of that speech or the enormity of wrongs. But she did ask me - why they were treated like that ma. Empathy. That's all we need y'all. Why treat a fellow human in a way that we will look back at cringe at.

Let them know Inclusion, intersection and equality is everything.

I'm sure she will read the Help, the Color purple, Scarlett Letter, Diary of Anne Frank and a zillion other historical wrongs in due time and make her assumptions about how the world was. And what right is.

Wish the field she grows up gets level playing. I'm immensely grateful for the food on our plate, bed to sleep, doors that open, for the help and access during this pandemic. #gratitude #egalitarian #intersectional #learn_raw_History

Land of Zero midnight sun

Bedtime conversation bw me and the child:

Me: ippo night ah day ah?
R:  night
Me:  correct, night spelling enna?
R: N-I-G-H-T
Me: correct! Ippo night, sleeping time. Thoongi elundha enna varum?
R: day!
Me: ama da chellam, ana.. Alaska la sun poidumaam naalikku varavey varadhaam.
R: yean!!!! 
Me: two months varadhaam! Sun thoonga poidumam.
R: yen thoongum ma?!!! Yen thoongumaam, sollu ma.
Me *ayyayo*:  therilaye, naan naalaikku paathu solren
R:  no, nee ippove paathu sollu, yen sun 2 months thoongumaam nu..
Me:  <- idhu unakku thevaya. 😑

Le budding ideator

So the child gives me an idea to build houses for street rats with a dining, with platters of strawberries, raisins, groundnuts etc. So that they don't have to run astray, they'll have a place to live and feed on.

Few minutes later child gives me an idea to go and ask if supermarkets want to introduce any "face wash" tubes for babies...

Me : aiyo, neraya idea vechrukkiye.. innum konjam sollu.. go on.

She: No ma, one day two ideas only. Nalaikku sun varumla approm innu two vishyam sollten.

Me: *wondering if I'm in some sort of counselling session or consultancy* #parentingparithabangal #raisinglittleR

Waiting room chronicles

The most number of kisses happens probably nowhere else but at a school gathering which has run late. You see every third parent consoling their babies with kisses.

You see a random child (alone, her parents are outside the room) who was happily frolicking inside the classroom premises, who suddenly saw her father and started wailing LOUDLY. Looking at that, a few others have started crying. The dad scoops her into his arms, whilst the mother beside says she's staging it for YOU, dont encourage!

You see one smartie speculating and announcing the reason why the babies are crying (seems like they are crying as* they don't have color pencils) to her mom.

There's one child that's fighting with her mommy for like 20 minutes now, because someone else sat on her chair.

Tiny tiny tots with curly hair that hasn't seen a hair cut yet. Cute little thumbs, busy being sucked. Flowery clips, captioned tiny shirts, frilly shirts, caps, superhero prints and jeans of all kinds. Colour, vibes, incoherence, and baby talk.

Whilst my tiny is animatedly having a conversation with her friend, acknowledging the possibility our crying turn might happen in a while, preemptively I fuel up a tub of quartered grapes, hope until our cranky timer starts I can enjoy watching pampered little prince and princesses tired hungry busy excited; and realise there is nothing like babies - yours or other's even. 

Happiness is being mom. Tired exhausted hungry one that. #worldwithtinyfeet #kuttisandhoshams

Rhea's anklets

Because it's the New year, on the lines of  new beginnings​ slash being auspicious slash imbibing prosperity, I thought I'll get a pair of silver anklets for Rhea.

Me - to a salesman at the Jewellery shop. Kolusu kaaminga - Show us some anklets.

R, promptly, Amma enakku kolusu vendam. Necklace kodukka sollu. (I don't want anklets, ask them to show some Necklaces)

Me - gape! 😂😂😂😂

Toddler talks - a mind of their own!

The chatterbox of mine has a peculiar finding​ every day that I can't fill my diary enough. Yesterday when she woke up I told her "Good morning". She replied "why are you telling Good morning, Amma. Naan thirumbavum thoonga poren" rolled back and slept for another fifteen minutes. It makes me think - Okay, so I need to be sure you're waking up before I tell a harmless good morning? Lol.

I showed her a tree full of mangoes and asked her can we take one from that tree. Pat comes the reply - Amma this is not our tree. We'll take mango from the fridge (apparently refrigerator had some)

She's 2.5 and can oppose our views aka have a mind of her own. That's how pliable we are before gender stereotypes, ability to do and not do creeps in, allowing talking back creeps in.

Book review - The Horse Whisperer

Finished my journey with "The Horse Whisperer". What a delectable read. I did this mistake of parallel reading - I picked up an exclusive and a best seller as always to manage the pace. This and "The Girl on the train". One thirds through both the books, I realised my heart was with the horse whisperer, I didn't want to parallel read anymore. Its now two days since I've wrapped HW, I still don't want to touch another book or Girl on the train that I'm yet to complete. I am not two-timing, no, not yet; my love is still strong, I'm still thinking of the characters, the scenes - pretty much hung over you know, if ukwim.

HW is a beauty. It unravels slowly with intense emotions and yes, a horse could very well be a hero or a protagonist too, why not. Animals emote right.

The weightage given to both the female and male characters was commendable. The love was enthralling - between the horses and the people, or the men and the women. (I don't want to give away, therefore no TMI on the main post). And the ending is gut wrenching. The book haunts you for a while, and then more, the characters stay with you. A keeper. A lovely keeper, I say.

Book review - The Horse Whisperer

Finished my journey with "The Horse Whisperer". What a delectable read. I did this mistake of parallel reading - I picked up an exclusive and a best seller as always to manage the pace. This and "The Girl on the train". One thirds through both the books, I realised my heart was with the horse whisperer, I didn't want to parallel read anymore. Its now two days since I've wrapped HW, I still don't want to touch another book or Girl on the train that I'm yet to complete. I am not two-timing, no, not yet; my love is still strong, I'm still thinking of the characters, the scenes - pretty much hung over you know, if ukwim.

HW is a beauty. It unravels slowly with intense emotions and yes, a horse could very well be a hero or a protagonist too, why not. Animals emote right.

The weightage given to both the female and male characters was commendable. The love was enthralling - between the horses and the people, or the men and the women. (I don't want to give away, therefore no TMI on the main post). And the ending is gut wrenching. The book haunts you for a while, and then more, the characters stay with you. A keeper. A lovely keeper, I say.