There's so much blankness alongside being a mother.
Rhea is all 'dohiiing dohiiing' these days and I was stuck with a red crayon unable to think beyond an apple and a flower in red. Squeezed those sad neurons and finally I drew a (lame) red bucket :/ After I give the book to her I think of strawberries, red chillies, fire engine and all that :/
This temporary memory loss can only be called #Mumnesia
So daughter loves saying these complex or difficult words like they're easy peasy at 1.5y now.
Custard apple
Strawberry
Watermelon
Pineapple
Crocodile
Baby-carrier
Bulldozer
Concrete-mixer
Japanese fan etc
So there are these soft toys - a sheep, a fish, a duck and the favorite one of hers apparently is her 'Doremon'.
That's about difficult it can get!
Is it a problem when people see the world in blacks and whites?
Yeah I am not Krishna of Kurushetra who saw the world to be fluid with whites in the black heart or blacks in a white heart. I was Karna who felt like a victim being talented and of royal blood but circumstances all working against him, hence I have the rights to be cynical. And apparently I see black or white. No grays. That's how most of the world is binary - married/unmarried (you can never say 90% married right? Or if you can I am not you.)
Then there are people who still baffle all the thirty years of me with the big time BS about being there for me while only being judgemental or critical or prejudiced.
What friend could a prejudiced person be? What friend would always judge you? What friend would not trust you and say I trusted you but you failed me? I would only call these relations toxic and move off from them without a word. Is that bad? Isn't that good for my heart? Does that stop me from wanting to kill myself for allowing me to be backstabbed? Yes, it does.
I can't see any white in that blackness anymore. I am blind - emotionally blind.
And I only have two words for the hypocrites - fuck off.
