Saturday, May 14, 2016

How CB made me blog at midnight!

*The Chetan inspired me to blog at midnight post*

I read this http://www.comedyflavors.com/chetan-bhagats-suggestion-for-women-to-reduce-stress-will-touch-your-soul/
and my fingers flurried quite quickly to finish a blog post! Thank you CB.

While CB can't write for 4 kaasu. (I mean I write better. Then why am I not an author? That's cuz I am friggin lazy) He has found a nice way to market him - his advice mazhai to women annoys me.

While it's deemed good, you do the math about the educated/uneducated, below/above poverty line types of women in India, tell me how many are skimming their Android mobiles right now?

All this is more toward the urban stepped up independent woman who happened to have her Monday blue even on Thursdays and Fridays. Somebody please hand me a knife, I wanna kill myself.

// the talk I want to have with him //

Him - Mil doesn’t like you? That’s her problem.

Me - If I have a husband who beats me back and blue as I've insulted his pyaari maa whose problem would it be?

Him - Two, if you are doing a good job at work and your boss doesn’t value you -tell him that, or quit. Talented, hard-working people are much in demand.

Me - seriously?

Him - Three, educate yourself, learn skills, network – figure out ways to be economically independent.

Me - I was economically independent, but in point 2 you told me to quit it when the going got tough. I, upon your word, quit my job and now I can't find another. The pauper-me has to piggyback someone to network now. Any idea how much a cold coffee and bus ticket costs these days?

Him - Four, It is okay if you don’t work until midnight and don’t get a promotion. Nobody remembers their job designation on their dying day.

Me - Wait, what if I knew how to manage my work within 8 hrs and get promoted? Is this a glib way of saying women have to be complacent with mediocrity? Seriously? Why only a woman is an employee and a mother? The man could be a father too you know? Please shove your advices to men too. It's not about who wears the pants - it's my bread as much as it was his. There are no cave women these days who were pulled around by their husbands by their hair.  There are women who are ambitious, who have dreams, don't belittle them or worse make them feel like jerks for embracing their career as much as their personal lives.

Him - Your neighbor may make a six-dabba tiffin for her husband, you don’t – big deal.

Me - To a large percentage of the population a meal a day seems like gourmandizing, there's hand-me-down clothes, ignorance of she-cups. IMO you've cut a tiny piece of the Great Indian cake and made an pointless stereotypical comparison.

PS - You should take my advice and plan for the next competitive exam, just so you know "Nobody remembers their qualifications or glorified schools on their dying day" either.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Kannukku maiye azhagu

*growing up woes*

So my daughter comes to me with a kajal stick and says 'Amma.. Amma.. maiye' (Amma.. Amma.. kohl) with an expression that she wants to wear it.
Me - *shocked* as I never make her wear kohl or anything and this little woman has been watching how mum's dressing up. So I say, "kanna kaatu" (show me your eyes..)
She rolls her eyes and allows me to smear a little kohl on both the eyes.
Little Missy, then points to my forehead and says, 'Amma...totttttu..totttu' (Pottu...ie bindi)
Me - *shocked again* as I never make her wear bindi either. So, I take the bindi from my forehead and put it on hers.
She goes away happily, leaving Amma thoughtful that her little one is growing crazy fast!

My little sweetheart,
There was a time when your hunger pang or a wet nappy discomfiture was only a shrill cry, there was a time when your only reflex was a snug-latch, today you've grown all BIG to ask me what you want with that limited vocabulary of yours? However BIG you grow up to be you'll always be my teenie-weenie little sweet-pea #15m
Amma :)